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not something adults should say
LYRICS BY JUSTINE THOMAS
When you’re a kid
You see adults behaving
Like they’ve got it figured out
When you’re grown up
You watch the kids you’re raising
Realizing you’re full of doubt
So I
Got advice from Mary Sue
She’s got one kid, tips for me and you
Got advice from Jenny Jack
Married this year, she knows all the hacks
Please
The real secret is
We’re all just winging it
Ha ha ha, I feel like I’m losing my mind
[Chorus]
They have no idea
That we have no idea
Not a single idea
No No
Shhh
That’s not something adults should say
It’s all just declarations
From generations
With expectations
And regulations
Shhh
That’s not something adults should say
When you’re eighteen
You jump and shout
woopie
I make my own decisions now
When your thirty-five
Glares come from Judge Judy’s
Doubting all your know-how
So I
Got advice from Libby Lou
She’s got no kids but knows what to do
Got advice from Haley Hope
Parents pay her bills but understands being broke.
Please
The real secret is
They’re all just faking it.
Ha ha ha, I’m losing my mind
[Chorus]
kids chatter
I'm the boss
You're not the boss
No no no
why why why
Mom!
Why Mama?
Do we have to?
Ah!
Unsolicited advice is crazy
I must’ve asked for it, maybe?
“What works for me, must work for you!”
You know just tell the truth
We’re playing games like Monopoly
Rolling our dice aimlessly
Spinning that bottle round and round
Jumping on that choice we’ve found
Flick that wheel
Make that move
You survive
Good for you
Flick that wheel
Make that move
You survive
Good for you
They have no idea
That we have no idea
They have no idea
That we have no idea
Shhh
That’s not something adults should say.
about the song
It’s funny how as kids, we grow up believing that the moment we become adults, we’ll finally have control over our lives. Yet, the moment adulthood actually hits, we have no idea what we’re actually doing. Still, it doesn’t stop any one of us from putting on a brave face, acting like we know what’s going on, and for many of us, even going as far as to criticize others for how they’re living their lives or raising their children.
That last one is especially striking. I don’t think there’s a parent out there that can’t relate to being told by a fellow parent about the “right” way to do things. Especially in the social media age when every post we see is “this is how to keep your child from becoming a picky eater” or “my child is an expert swimmer before 2 years old and I don’t understand why yours isn’t”. It’s so easy for people to look at their own experiences and assume that one size must fit all. Of course, many parents get humbled when their second or third child comes along and is the polar opposite of their other ones.
Before I had my kids, I was certain that I would make all of their purées from scratch and they would try so many foods. They would never be plagued with the picky eater gene that I grew up with! After all, all of the parenting websites said that introducing your child to a wide range of homemade foods would prevent this from happening…so obviously, it must be true.
I giggle now when I see an influencer post a video of their one and a half year old eating food with a caption bragging about how they gave their child every food to try and saved them from a future of becoming a picky eater.
Just wait. Wait until that child smells a chicken nugget somewhere. Or macaroni and cheese. You don’t know when, you don’t know where, but that curse is coming for you. It could be at grandma’s house. It could be that one restaurant outing where a friend ordered kids food for the table. It could be just walking through the food court. Once they know it exists, their taste buds magically change and they suddenly realize they actually hated everything else they were ever given and “kids foods” are the only way to live.
Okay – somewhere out there, there is a miracle child who doesn’t go through a picky stage – but I’m pretty convinced it’s all about their genetics and has nothing to do with the foodie adventure you took them on as a baby.
Case in point: My son devoured crab cakes with avocado mousse, salmon with vanilla parsnip purée, and venison with a cherry glaze at our restaurant before he was two. Then he woke up one day and like a light switch, only wanted chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, or hot dogs. Sure, we’d still feed him other food constantly but he wailed every time. Yet when those magic foods hit his lips, the glow of happiness radiated for miles.
My daughter, on the other hand, was a pandemic baby. Honestly, we were just trying to make it through all of the days at home without constant wailing and overstimulation. She got the chicken nuggets. She got the mac and cheese. And guess what? By the time she hit 3, she was obsessed with trying new foods. She loved salads in her lunchbox with sunflower seeds. She would eat broccoli like there was no tomorrow, and spicy foods really made her happy. I was convinced that not being experimental actually made her more curious and prevented her from being a picky eater. Then she turned 5 – and I don’t know what happened. Suddenly, she became obsessed with her brother’s chicken nuggets that she used to deem as gross and she grimaced over the thought of trying new foods. Again, we feed them home cooked meals all the time but goodness, is it a battle. Unless it’s sushi or my quesadilla recipe. Those have somehow passed the picky eater radar.
The point of this rant: nobody ever knows the solution for their kids, let alone somebody else’s. We’re all winging it every day, pretending we’ve had some huge revelation, but none of us ever do. Each of our kids are different and they each require different parenting techniques.
Yet, even recognizing this, we are still crazy enough to give and take advice that may or may not be needed, let alone wanted.
When I was lying in bed thinking about the entire point of my album, it occurred to me: it’s all about the rollercoaster of adulthood. Parenting. Marriage. Entrepreneurship. We really have no idea what we’re doing and yet we want the world, and especially our kids to believe we do.
Thus, my song, “Not Something Adults Should Say”, was born – a song every parent can vent to about how clueless we all feel, all of that unsolicited advice we always get, and how stressful it is to constantly pretend we know what we’re doing.
But try not to blast it too hard because…shhhh. That’s not something adults should say.
